Many of you may have already read my "About Me" page, and may have noticed that much of it is about healing my son. You may have also noticed that I don't talk about my own symptoms in depth. There's a reason for that....
This is such a personal topic for me, as a healer, because I struggle with the feeling of being "the face of health", literally and figuratively! Being in the health and wellness industry can apply some personal pressures to be in "perfect" health, and/or have all the answers to solve every health issue. However, healing is a journey for all us-- myself included . I often tell my clients, as an encouragement, that healing is like an onion. It happens in layers and often times when you deal with the most pressing layer, some issue that lies beneath will rise to the top as your body now has the ability to deal with it from removing the prior stressor. Anyone dealing with chronic health issues can also have at least one, if not many, visible symptoms arise on the outside for others to see. This has proved true in my own journey towards healing.
In my young adult years I abused drugs and alcohol. I also gave little attention to what I ate, and therefore, had an extremely poor diet. Though this was the case, I had no visible symptoms to cause alarm. When I became sober and changed my diet, my health remained unaffected. I was petite, relatively fit, and overall satisfied with my new lifestyle. During this season I even got married and starting building a family.
After the birth of my son, I was diagnosed with postpartum depression, and began taking anti-depression medicine. Overtime, I chose to stop using the medication and explored alternative methods of healing naturally. Eventually the fog lifted and I was able to enjoy life again with no other visible symptoms. I had another child, fulfilled my dream of being a stay at home mom, and loved growing in my new found passion for nutrition.
Four years ago, however, as I was continuing to internally heal my body, a visible symptom began to show up on my face and hands. I was confused by this rash and went to doctors and dermatologists to help determine what was going on. All they told me was it was eczema and gave me some steroid cream or expensive skin cleanser to use.
I believe I depleted my mineral stores and damaged my gut from my early adult years. Couple that with the depression medicine and a few rounds of antibiotics, the bacteria levels in my gut were out of balance.
I've gone through many stages of healing some of those "onion layers", including a SIBO (small intestinal bacteria overgrowth) protocol, Liver support, Sugar Control protocol for hypoglycemia, Adrenal support, Gut Healing, GAPS, and am now currently on the AutoImmune Paleo protocol. All of these have brought a certain level of healing, and my health is leaps and bounds better than it was several years ago... but this one thing still persists and is always right there in the mirror looking back at me.
I've avoided sharing my personal story, because it is just that, deeply personal. I've tried countless protocols, topical solutions, healing supplements, and it still is a problem for me. It almost gives me a sense of failure. But I have to take the encouragement I offer my own clients! I have to be a good client myself and be patient with my body! I cannot be afraid to share my story just because the outcome does not fit into a pretty, perfect package. This is my journey... and it's not over.
I often tell my clients to accept themselves as they are, to love themselves in their own skin. I see my clients as God's children, perfect in His eyes and want them to believe that truth as well. Loving yourself should not only be applicable if you fit a certain standard of perfection. And I need to believe that about myself as well.
The reality is that the health and wellness professionals experience their own high and lows too, and if being vulnerable about my own struggles can encourage just 1 person to not give up on their persistent symptoms and reach out for help, than it will be worth it.
In good health, Tara